by Leah
Little Bit is what we call a Preacher's Kid--only twice over, since both her dad and her mom are pastors. So, a Preachers' Kid? (Her mother is also a grammar nerd.)
Anyway.
A colleague of mine who has an 11-month-old tells a story about the day his baby, being the cutie pie and minister's daughter that she is, was cooed over before, during, and after worship only to be cooed over again in the parking lot as their young family was trying to get home in time for her nap. "Isn't she cuuuuute?" "Where's that smile?" "Can you wave bye-bye??" Another parishioner who had witnessed the onslaught grabbed my friend's ear and spoke into it words of wisdom: "You know, your daughter doesn't have to perform all the time just because you're the preacher."
Little Bit is what we call a Preacher's Kid--only twice over, since both her dad and her mom are pastors. So, a Preachers' Kid? (Her mother is also a grammar nerd.)
Anyway.
A colleague of mine who has an 11-month-old tells a story about the day his baby, being the cutie pie and minister's daughter that she is, was cooed over before, during, and after worship only to be cooed over again in the parking lot as their young family was trying to get home in time for her nap. "Isn't she cuuuuute?" "Where's that smile?" "Can you wave bye-bye??" Another parishioner who had witnessed the onslaught grabbed my friend's ear and spoke into it words of wisdom: "You know, your daughter doesn't have to perform all the time just because you're the preacher."
How honestly that person spoke--both about babies and, perhaps unwittingly, about how much of a performance leading worship and preaching truly are. And that parishioner's words were prophetic not just for my friend's family, but for ours as well: I'm conscious that there are already expectations about Little Bit's presence at and participation in worship--expectations from parishioners that she'll be her smiley, happy self and expectations from her parents that she'll be relatively well-behaved so worship can happen without major distractions/poop-splosions/crying fiascoes. (We have managed so far not to resort to me breastfeeding while presiding over communion but it feels like only a matter of time before that perfect storm occurs...) Everyone is understanding that she is a baby and therefore unpredictable and full of needs, but still, we all have hopes and assumptions about her cute little self.
So I'm aware that we'll have to work hard to let her be herself, both behaviorally and spiritually (more on that later). But the plus side to being a preachers' kid? Little Bit is already making a powerful difference in others' lives in a way that I hope she will eventually learn to do on her own. When she's cranky, she's cranky, but when she is happy (or even sleeping!)--man, she literally lights up the faces of congregants and even strangers who are in dark places. Someone who has a parent in the hospital; someone wrestling with depression; someone who desperately misses their own kids due to custody issues; someone facing severe health challenges or medication issues; and even someone who simply longs for the joy of holding a baby in their arms. She is already experiencing what pastors and parishioners alike struggle to learn as adults--that most often, simply your presence is enough.
I pray that my spouse/co-pastor and I will have the grace and perspective to keep our desire to share Little Bit's potent pastoral magic from turning into an unspoken mandate to perform. But even more than that, I pray that when she's older she'll remember how to embody what she's currently living without effort: when others are in need, simply be yourself and just show up.
And, equally as important, that it's really okay to take a break to care for yourself whenever you need a good cry, a nap, or a moment to clear out the poop in your life.
Amen.
So I'm aware that we'll have to work hard to let her be herself, both behaviorally and spiritually (more on that later). But the plus side to being a preachers' kid? Little Bit is already making a powerful difference in others' lives in a way that I hope she will eventually learn to do on her own. When she's cranky, she's cranky, but when she is happy (or even sleeping!)--man, she literally lights up the faces of congregants and even strangers who are in dark places. Someone who has a parent in the hospital; someone wrestling with depression; someone who desperately misses their own kids due to custody issues; someone facing severe health challenges or medication issues; and even someone who simply longs for the joy of holding a baby in their arms. She is already experiencing what pastors and parishioners alike struggle to learn as adults--that most often, simply your presence is enough.
I pray that my spouse/co-pastor and I will have the grace and perspective to keep our desire to share Little Bit's potent pastoral magic from turning into an unspoken mandate to perform. But even more than that, I pray that when she's older she'll remember how to embody what she's currently living without effort: when others are in need, simply be yourself and just show up.
And, equally as important, that it's really okay to take a break to care for yourself whenever you need a good cry, a nap, or a moment to clear out the poop in your life.
Amen.