By Meredith
So, some controversial topics have been in the news. And also, coming from a contrarian "friend" on my Facebook feed who dug up a blog from donor-conceived children who oppose donor conception.
It's a strange sort of phenomenon, donor-conceived children faced with the same sort of questions adopted children, "illegitimate" children and orphans have been facing for decades deciding that because their conception was intentional (and money was exchanges) they are some how especially bad off and shouldn't exist (ignoring of course the fact that MORE money is often exchanged in the . It's also something, I saw and made my peace with long before my son was conceived.
For purposes of this blog, more details aren't important. What is important, I suppose, is how am I going to protect the sweet, completely real and genuine soul I've been entrusted to care for, in a world that calls him synthetic- and questions whether he should even exist. Not just in pop culture, but in spaces I thought were safe.
This, of course, is the biggest reason why he'll be dedicated in the Unitarian Universalist faith rather than baptized in the Presbyterian church like I was. I thought I had found church home that was safe from such judgments.
But the "friend" in question, is one I met through the UU church. And it makes me ill to think about that fact.
Is there no safe place for my son? Psychologically safe. As in, no one should be debating whether our family should exist. It DOES exist and we're healthy, happy and productive. Every family should be so lucky as ours.
I can't escape judgment- especially not as a woman with her own economic independence in the Southern US (And I'm cisgender, straight and white, imagine how much worse other folks have it?). And if I were going to let the judgment of society (or even those I attend church with) control my behavior, I wouldn't have made it very far in life.
For now, I take comfort in the fact that had that exchange taken place inside the church walls and not on FB, someone else would have come to the defense of my son's right to exist (and my right to reproduce). But, this is something that will weigh on my heart for a while, I fear.
So, some controversial topics have been in the news. And also, coming from a contrarian "friend" on my Facebook feed who dug up a blog from donor-conceived children who oppose donor conception.
It's a strange sort of phenomenon, donor-conceived children faced with the same sort of questions adopted children, "illegitimate" children and orphans have been facing for decades deciding that because their conception was intentional (and money was exchanges) they are some how especially bad off and shouldn't exist (ignoring of course the fact that MORE money is often exchanged in the . It's also something, I saw and made my peace with long before my son was conceived.
For purposes of this blog, more details aren't important. What is important, I suppose, is how am I going to protect the sweet, completely real and genuine soul I've been entrusted to care for, in a world that calls him synthetic- and questions whether he should even exist. Not just in pop culture, but in spaces I thought were safe.
This, of course, is the biggest reason why he'll be dedicated in the Unitarian Universalist faith rather than baptized in the Presbyterian church like I was. I thought I had found church home that was safe from such judgments.
But the "friend" in question, is one I met through the UU church. And it makes me ill to think about that fact.
Is there no safe place for my son? Psychologically safe. As in, no one should be debating whether our family should exist. It DOES exist and we're healthy, happy and productive. Every family should be so lucky as ours.
I can't escape judgment- especially not as a woman with her own economic independence in the Southern US (And I'm cisgender, straight and white, imagine how much worse other folks have it?). And if I were going to let the judgment of society (or even those I attend church with) control my behavior, I wouldn't have made it very far in life.
For now, I take comfort in the fact that had that exchange taken place inside the church walls and not on FB, someone else would have come to the defense of my son's right to exist (and my right to reproduce). But, this is something that will weigh on my heart for a while, I fear.